Blog <risk

This blog has been a great way for me to pour out my thoughts, the endless rabbit holes that my mind goes down.

It brings me peace, joy and a sense of accomplishment. I know that probably sounds stupid because to most it's "just a blog". I'm not working for anyone and who knows if anyone will read it.

But it's more then that to me, and I guess at the end of the day that is the only thing that matters. Although I do hope that others find this blog and follow it, share it with their friends, coworkers or Loved ones who could use whatever message is displayed. Because I for one follow people on certain social accounts that I've never met but feel as though on some level I know. I hope to be that for someone else some day because I know how much peace it brings me when I read or watch someone who I find is the three R's : Real, Raw, and Relatable .

It's nice to be reminded that certain things you say, do, think or feel are things that others go through too in their own way.

It can often act as a reminder that you are human and you are not alone.

I also enjoy the smaller things like products or methods that work best for someone.
Be it a haul, sharing a great deal, crafting, etc

I find that I often learn something new or find new things to try.

Or sometimes it's just a message that is powerful or emotionally impacting, positive, uplifting, inspiring or just funny ... you name it.

I find this especially helpful now as a stay at home mom. Since having my baby boy my circle that already seemed so small got smaller.
I don't have daily social interactions or distractions.
I don't have easy ways to "measure my successes" much like you do at work.
I don't have a car ride to and from work to get ready for the day or digress from the day.

But that's ok!

I would GLADLY trade all of those things for the daily life I have now no questions asked.
And I have.

Is it hard?

yes.

Does it get lonely?

Of course.

Is it amazing and rewarding?

You bet your ass it is!

There are days where I feel as though I can't do anything right or that I've accomplished nothing.

Even though I know that's not true.

It's a change of mind set that we have to work on and remind ourselves of while trying to get use to it all.

A lot of the tasks that before I never put much thought or "value" in I guess, are now big daily tasks.

Like doing laundry ( every day or at least every other day - Oh the joys of babies <3 ) keeping up with the dishes, sweeping the floors, picking up, and the list goes on.

That's of course not to mention pumping every 3 hours around the clock, feeding, changing, diapering, teaching, playing and helping my baby learn of course ;)

Maybe it's because the things I do now are on a never ending cycle.

It's hard to take 5 mins for anything let alone to be proud of the fact that all the laundry is clean, perfectly folded and organized when you know it will be destroyed by the end of the night and the hamper will soon be full.

Or because your just going to make more dishes anyway.

It's hard to pause and see those small moments of accomplishment and not only see the sink full AGAIN or the hamper overflowing and find your out of burp cloths during a moment that you really need one.

That's something I know I personally struggle with and need to work on.

Days are busy and bleed one into the next.

Although I'm happy for this blessed busy and full life, I find it hard to hear my own brain think often.

This blog has been a great space to let my mind, my thoughts and my creativity flow from my heart to my fingertips.

It gives me a space to reflect and share.
And what that is doing for my mind, heart and soul (and let's not forget sanity) is something I cannot measure or explain.

I went back and forth for some time on if I would make a blog or not.

But like the quote says "Everything is a risk. Not doing anything is a risk. It's up to you"

So I could make up excuses or feed into insecurities OR I could take the leap and at the very least try it out.

I had thoughts of "how will I ever find the time?" or "What will I write about?"
I fed momentarily into insecurities like "Who would read this?" or "No one will read it why even bother."
It's easy to let things like that get to you. Numbers something I hate! I feel like they surround us in so many ways and are almost always stealing our simple joys. But for me it wasn't so much if anyone would read it as, what if the wrong person were to read it, someone I know who then makes a joke out of it all. Pokes fun at it or puts me down. If it were to find the wrong audience with ill intentions.
But I think that speaks more on the character and heart of the other person and not so much on me.
A weight I've chosen to take off of my shoulders.

I found myself having so much creativity that I wanted to pour out. I was letting it go through my mind and then die without ever being shared.
I started sharing some of it on my personal Instagram account and thought -
Enough is enough let's do it!
And here we are.
I like this space so much more for this content.
Especially because Instagram has a character limit ( Yup found that one out)
And it's freeing starting from here where only my husband knows I have content.
If it reaches people I know or don't that is great but I haven't made it public knowledge and like that it can grow organically on it's own or not at all. Either way it still holds it's original purpose with the hope of growing to help others as well.

Take the risk big or small to do something that makes you happy.
That brings you some sort of joy or peace.